Just as some people are naturally gregarious and outgoing, others are naturally shy and reserved. While it can be more difficult to engage with someone who is shy, there are some easy things you can do to get them to talk. By approaching the other person first and reassuring them of your interest, you can draw a shy person out of their shell and make them more talkative. I’ve been writing about social skills for nearly twenty years. I was shy, awkward, and lonely until my mid-twenties and created this site to be the kind of guide I wish I’d had at the time.
Watch Out For Their Energy Surges
- In group discussions you have the option of hanging back and letting everyone else talk.
- In 2013, he founded Social Confidence Mastery and has been helping other introverted professionals get out of their heads, have things to say, and speak up in groups.
- If you’re talking with another introvert, the quiet moments can feel natural and even set the stage for deeper conversations.
- Additionally, reassuring clients that they have control over what they share and the pace of the sessions helps clients feel at ease.
In reality, being “the quiet one” is super common for introverts, shy people, or those of us who just don’t feel the urge to talk that much. Being a naturally quiet person isn’t a bad thing, but there may come a time that you’d like to speak up a little more to make your voice heard. As with most things, holding a conversation is a skill that you can get better at with practice. With a little patience and some hard work, you can become comfortable talking with people one-on-one or in large groups. Following threads tells a quiet person you were actually listening, which is its own quiet invitation to say more.
Conversation Starters For Anyone Struggling To Connect
If you liked this article, share your thoughts in the comment section or share this article with your friends. Look at 16 things you didn’t know about extreme introverts. Yadi is the founder of Diary Of An Introvert, a blog that showcases a world inside every introvert’s mind. She believes introverts need a platform for expression. Join our Introvert datesentials.wordpress.com/2026/09/14/goldenagesouls-review Club to be part of this growing movement.
Raise Your Energy
This takes the pressure off having to make constant conversation. This shows you were really listening and gets them to open up more. Don’t be fake and overdo it, but try to communicate that you’re friendly, you like them, and enjoy talking to them. Sincerely compliment them when it’s appropriate, like if they said something funny or insightful. Shyer people can be quick to believe they’re coming across as unlikable and boring.
Shyness makes it harder to think of things to say, but most people have an easy time talking about topics they’re interested in. Like if someone likes video games, all you have do is say Nintendo or roguelite and a dozen things will come to their mind. Try to land on one of those interests, and they should have a much easier time speaking with you. Some shy people are a bit withdrawn at first, but open up before long. Someone else may be in a less-social mood, and not feel like talking no matter how much you try to meet them halfway.
The same thing with group conversations – you should aim to respond on instinct. I thought that I had to come up with clever things to say to not be judged. In reality, you don’t need to be smart or witty at all. In fact, trying to be smart or witty can make you overthink and tense up.
